some links on my blog are gonna stay broken overnight. i need sleep and i’ve not finished.

i keep coming online like yes lets go lets do this i’ll talk to everyone and not let anything kick me down

and leaving like i’ll just go before i end up crying ok? ok.

fuck i hope i get that internship. i hope im ok with the college summer project. neither can come soon enough so i dont wind up watching my dash go by and nothing coming my way.

i hate how much reinforcement i need. i’ve always needed. i wish i could be one to fuck everything and carry on regardless.

but everyone calls me cute and funny and an amazing writer but im alone so often it starts to ring hollow.

i know i should reach out but i’ve always made a fool of myself or been ignored. the times its gone right are so few- and i fuck it up later anyway.

i should go on hiatus, i bet thats what anyone would say. but people i knew at school are… i dont know where. and without the chance online… i’ll only socialize with my grandparents day after day.

i know they fucked me around but maybe if they’re still advertizing i should go back and find out about that job i applied for. they seemed to want me? they were just really awful at trying to contact me.