Send me a ship and I’ll tell you who
- collects rocks
- takes pictures of the other while they’re asleep
- gets drunk and breaks shit
- can’t swim
- remembers to feed the fish
- puts up Christmas decorations in November
- sends inappropriate texts and SnapChats while the other is in a meeting
- makes Sims just to drown them in the pool
- brings the other coffee at work
- takes gym locker room selfies
- signs them up for tennis lessons and a salsa-making class
- forgets to charge the other’s iPad and leaves it dead on the coffee table
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